Divorce Mediation is progressively becoming popular because it is less expensive, simple, quick, and a matured way of dealing with issues. Mediation is specially recommended for families with children. The reason of mediation is to maintain the calm and peace of the family and encourage couples to compromise rather than be egoistic over trivial issues.

However it should be noted that divorce mediation can be successful only in the following situations:

- Both the parties voluntarily want the process

- Both the parties are present and involved in the process

- There is no history of physical abuse or offence in the relationship

If a case meets all the above criteria divorce mediation is possible. Mediation reduces the heat of divorce and the disturbance that it creates. If a divorce is inevitable and the couples still want peace then mediation is a benefit for them. However, for mediation to be successful couples must follow some guidelines.

Here are some tips for successful divorce mediation:

· Select a good mediator: Mediator is the anchor of the whole process so his expertise does matter. The mediator should be a good facilitator and counselor who can encourage a fair compromise between the couples. He should be trained to handle challenges that are involved in divorce. It is better to engage a reputed mediator.

· Cooperate and compromise: The first and foremost approach to a successful mediation is cooperation. Mediation has no meaning without the help and support of the couples. So do not hide any details from each other, be rady to compromise wherever possible and required, think about the welfare of the kids, and do not let your ego overrule you.

· Have an open mind: Be open to the proposal of the partner or mediator. In mediation it is very important that you maintain your composure.

· Have a divorce mediation checklist: Before starting the process of mediation the couples should do their homework and prepare a divorce mediation checklist that contains a list of important issues to be discussed with the mediator.

Visit http://afairway.com/free-evaluation for a free evaluation.

Mediation, as used in law, is a form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR), a way of resolving disputes between two or more parties with concrete effects. ADR began in industrial relations in Australia long before the arrival of the modern ADR movement. One of the first statutes passed by the Commonwealth parliament was the Conciliation and Arbitration Act 1904. This allowed the Federal Government to pass laws on conciliation and arbitration for the prevention and settlement of industrial disputes extending beyond the limits of any one state. Conciliation has been the most prominently used form of ADR, and is generally far removed from modern mediation.

Significant changes in state policy took place from 1996–2007. The 1996 Workplace Relations Act sought to shift the industrial system away from a collectivist approach, where unions and the Australian Industrial Relations Commission (AIRC) had strong roles, to a more decentralized system of individual bargaining between employers and employees. The Act diminished the traditional role of the AIRC by placing the responsibility of resolving disputes at the enterprise level. This allowed mediation to be used to resolve industrial relations disputes instead of traditional conciliation.

Australia incorporated mediation extensively into family law and industrial relations under the 2006 WorkChoices amendments to the Workplace Relations Act. Examples of this use of mediation can be seen in recent enterprise bargaining negotiations. The Australian government claimed the benefits of mediation to include the following:

• Cost saving
• Reduced polarization
• Education
• Broader issues vs the courts
• Greater access to justice

Visit http://afairway.com/free-evaluation for a free evaluation.

When a couple chooses mediation over traditional divorce, they are taking control of the rest of their lives in a more cost effective and positive manner.

Like divorce, there is a process you must go through. However, unlike divorce, this process takes place in a much more comfortable and close environment.

There are six steps in the mediation process.

1. Introductory remarks: In this step, the mediator makes his/her introduction to both parties and established neutrality. The mediator notes his/her comments about what they see as potential issues and will outline the timeline and rules for the duration of the mediation.

2. Statement of the problem: Each party will have the opportunity to fully express their view of the problem at hand. A lawyer may be present in this stage, and may make the opening statement, but the client will always be asked to share as well. This gives the mediator insight into the emotional states of both parties.

3. Information session: The mediator must gather as much information from both parties as they can. The point is to talk through the issues and create a rapport between the parties that is not one of negative influences. The mediator will often repeat back what has been said, so that the clients can hear it from a third party.

4. After listening and gathering, the mediator now will find common issues among the clients, as well as define which problems and disputes need to be addressed.

5. The negotiation: There are a few different ways that both parties negotiate and bargain to reach a solution. We will get into those different methods in a future blog post. The most common method is the caucus, but there are many other efficient and effective ways to go through this step in the process.

6. The agreement: After all potential solutions have been reviewed and discussed, both parties will, we hope, reach an agreement that is beneficial for all. The mediator will walk the clients through the solutions and each party’s thoughts and emotions of them. Optimistically, the parties will come together and develop a solution themselves in a swift manner.

There you have it, the six stages of mediation. This process can take days or months, depending on the scale of issues that need to be addressed. Regardless, mediation is highly effective and usually has a more positive outcome than any other divorce situation.

Visit http://afairway.com/free-evaluation for a free evaluation

April is here, which means your taxes are due. These words make most people cringe once a year. But what happens when the unfortunate happens and you just get divorced? How does mediation deal with this issue? As a general rule there is no tax implications involved in the transfer of a marital status. But there are many other questions to consider like:

1. After divorce who will be responsible for any deficiency, which may be due on past due tax returns filed by the couple jointly?

2. Who is entitled to receive any tax refund, which may be due on any past due tax returns filed by the parties?

3. If permitted by law, will the parties file a joint income tax return for the present year?

a. Who will pay taxes due?

b. How will the tax refund be split?

4. Which parent may claim the children on their tax returns?

5. Must the recipient pay taxes on spousal support?

6. Are tax returns shared in the future after the divorce?

To get all these questions answered contact Rich Gordon at 619-702-9174 or simply click on his name and it will take you to a free evaluation on your situation. Taxes can be difficult and stressful as it is; don’t make it harder than it has to be. Mediation with Rich Gordon can alleviate your stress level during this tax season

Many people who have chosen mediation over traditional divorce have not only expedited the process, but some have also come out of it feeling increased positivity about the situation.

Couples who have chosen mediation as a first option, save money, time, and hurt. With mediation, each party may have their own lawyer, but look to a mediator to offer up advice and solutions from a third-party perspective. People, especially in this day and age, get so caught up in their lives, that they rarely look upon their situation from any other perspective. Mediation looks upon the situation more like a business agreement, rather than a complex and stressful divorce.

The mediator’s job is to hear both sides of the story, and analyze what is the best option for each side. Because the mediator is neutral, often times they are able to decrease the animosity between parties. Divorce is a delicate situation and should be approached gently.

Rather than being argumentative and hostile, mediation is collaborative and encourages the couple to cooperate. This is also a great way at testing the marriage, and finding out whether divorce is truly the right option for the pair. Divorce litigation shies away from addressing the more personal aspect of relationships and goes straight for the financials, properties, and anything else that can be argued over. Mediation lets the couple really dig deep into their relationship, and why the marriage dissolved in the first place, leaving both parties responsible and without blame.

Mediation does not replace the legal implications of divorce, and the need for legal counsel, it simply provides an alternative to the courtroom battle. Through mediation, the couple has taken control over the situation, but can have a lawyer present, so that all legal consequences of the client’s decision are made clear and apparent before the settlement is final.

The decision to get married was a decision out of love, why should the decision to separate be one of bitterness. Take control of your future life without hurt and hassle.

You can find help when it's time for divorce

When people do write testimonials for us, we are very happy to receive them and appreciate knowing exactly what drew them to write about us.  For some it’s because we helped save them money, and other times we have helped one partner to find their voice and find the courage to speak up.  With women, the satisfaction is greater because many times they are not sure how to get support, how to figure out child support, what their rights are and how they can leave the marriage protected.  Take a look at Polly’s testimonial:

Polly M.
San Diego, CA

“This is the deal divorce sucks no matter what. We can blame others all day for what they did or didn’t do for them. The truth is we are just mad our marriage s failed. I got divorced over 7 years ago and was a stay at home Mom with 2 little kids and really had no idea even how to pay the electric bill. Rich really helped clue me in to what my rights were. He opened my exes eyes to what was fair in the divorce and wasn’t just a paper shoveler.. He actually cared that it was fair for both parties.. He helped us have a court order that was in place and helped us have a real schedule for our kids . The way he calculated the money for child support made that part easy,,.. The only problem with that was the other part hence the ex… I would use him again and again!!!”

If you’re a woman in need of some advice about divorce, send us an email at imfair4u@gmail.com or call us at 619-702-9174 and we’ll be happy to explore your situation.

There are also many supportive blogs out there for women who are getting a divorce or who are already divorced.  Take a look at these blogs:

www.SinceMyDivorce.com

http://www.freshstartafterdivorce.com/blog

Top 10 Divorce Blogs

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Katy Perry and Russell Brand - Amicably Split!

Only 40 days and Katy and Russell were officially divorced.  How did they do it?  Many can learn from their very grown-up approach to splitting up.  The key to separating quickly, if two people are lucky enough to not be in a very upsetting and troubling situation is to take notes from Perry vs. Brand:

• They did not have a pre-nupital agreement
• They did not seek out high-profile attorneys to represent them
• They did not ridicule each other in public or in the media
• They worked out their divorce settlement together, resolving all of the financial terms of their marriage and separation
• Brand was entitled to 50% of Katy’s $44 Million in earnings, but he did not exercise his community rights

Given that their separation was as drama-free as it can be in Hollywood and among the L.A. crowd, we think they had many private conversations and sought the guidance of a mediator.  It’s not often that you see a high-profile break up like this go so well, especially when millions of dollars are at stake, but no matter what the situation, mediation can always help to make the transition much easier than traditional divorce.

We wish the best for Ms. Perry and Mr. Brand - keep the great music and movies coming!

]]> http://www.askthemediatortoday.com/2012/02/21/katy-and-russell-settled-in-40-days/feed/ http://www.askthemediatortoday.com/2012/02/09/first-couple-to-marry-in-california-are-divorcing/ http://www.askthemediatortoday.com/2012/02/09/first-couple-to-marry-in-california-are-divorcing/#comments Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:04:40 +0000 ericwohl http://www.askthemediatortoday.com/?p=108 The first gay couple to get married in California are sadly divorcing. Robin Tyler filed for a divorce from her long-time partner Diane Olson on Jan. 25. They had been together for 18 years and married in June of 2008 when it was legal for a short period to get married in California.

Robin Tyler and Diane Olson were the first married gay couple in California are getting a divorce

While it is disheartening to see two people who made history split up, the U.S. News reported this past summer that the states where gay marriage is legal have a lower divorce rate in both same-sex and different-sex unions. Gay marriages are less likely to end in divorce than straight unions, which is an ever greater reason for gay marriage to be legal and accepted everywhere.

It is unfortunate that Tyler and Olson, one of the same-sex couples who challenged California’s Prop 8 in court just filed for divorce, only weeks before a federal court deemed the state’s ban on gay marriage unconstitutional. In any case, they have gone through some of the same things any straight couple would and marriage and divorce should be just as easy for them and any other gay couple.

A Fair Way Mediation wishes them the best as they divorce and hope they are able to split amicably, as divorce is never easy, and we always support long, loving marriages but we also know the reality that sometimes forever doesn’t always happen.

If you are considering divorce, ask us about mediation first and take our free evaluation:http://afairway.com/free-evaluation

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“Rich Gordon was extremely helpful as he really facilitated my ex-husband and I sort through our separation, preventing some of the stress associated with this very bad situation. It also prevented us to spend a lot more money that we would have if we had taken two separates lawyers. Rick was fair and never showed any preferences, making us agree on reasonable decisions that were pertaining to our situation.  The divorce papers were filed quickly. During this difficult period, Rich were sensitive and passionate as well, which helped me going through his difficult period”

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Free Advice with Divorce and Mediation

There are still so many people that do not know about mediation and why it is so much better than traditional divorce.  I receive many questions when people first reach out to me about divorce and mediation.  It’s a tough time and there are so many things to consider, so much to learn about why mediation is better and many times people are either nervous, upset or depressed (or all of the above).

Primarily my role as a mediator is to listen to concerns, understand the situation, talk about differences between traditional divorce methods and the mediation process and set up a meeting for the couple to come in to see me in my office.  I provide a neutral safe setting and do not take the side of either party. My job is to listen to what the people are actually saying. When people come to mediation they have their own agenda. They hear what they hear, they do not hear the other parties’ contribution at all. My job is to be the interpreter, the person that hears what each side is saying, and relates it in a way that the second party will understand. Then they can make decisions about how best to come to a resolution.

If you’re reading this because you want to work things out with your partner or you are set on separating and want to make it as easy of a process as possible, I am here to listen and answer your questions and evaluate your circumstances for free.  I’ve been helping couples for close to 20 years now and have helped people work through so many difficult situations.  Please call me directly or click here to fill out our free evaluation and I will call you.

Best to you,

Richard Gordon, B.A., M.A. & J.D.

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~ Unknown