Ask The Mediator Today

Celine C. Callahan, CA 9/24/2011

“Rich Gordon was extremely helpful as he really facilitated my ex-husband and I sort through our separation, preventing some of the stress associated with this very bad situation. It also prevented us to spend a lot more money that we would have if we had taken two separates lawyers. Rick was fair and never showed any preferences, making us agree on reasonable decisions that were pertaining to our situation.  The divorce papers were filed quickly. During this difficult period, Rich were sensitive and passionate as well, which helped me going through his difficult period”

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* Join us for a FREE webinar on January 17 at 10:30a.m. PST. This webinar is open to only 100 people so registration is encouraged as soon as possible. To register, please click on this link: http://bit.ly/v2l5Ds then click “Register”. On the registration form, enter your information and then click “Submit”. Once the host approves your registration, you will receive a confirmation email message with instructions on how to join the event.

Free Advice with Divorce and Mediation

There are still so many people that do not know about mediation and why it is so much better than traditional divorce.  I receive many questions when people first reach out to me about divorce and mediation.  It’s a tough time and there are so many things to consider, so much to learn about why mediation is better and many times people are either nervous, upset or depressed (or all of the above).

Primarily my role as a mediator is to listen to concerns, understand the situation, talk about differences between traditional divorce methods and the mediation process and set up a meeting for the couple to come in to see me in my office.  I provide a neutral safe setting and do not take the side of either party. My job is to listen to what the people are actually saying. When people come to mediation they have their own agenda. They hear what they hear, they do not hear the other parties’ contribution at all. My job is to be the interpreter, the person that hears what each side is saying, and relates it in a way that the second party will understand. Then they can make decisions about how best to come to a resolution.

If you’re reading this because you want to work things out with your partner or you are set on separating and want to make it as easy of a process as possible, I am here to listen and answer your questions and evaluate your circumstances for free.  I’ve been helping couples for close to 20 years now and have helped people work through so many difficult situations.  Please call me directly or click here to fill out our free evaluation and I will call you.

Best to you,

Richard Gordon, B.A., M.A. & J.D.

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~ Unknown

In 2011, a couple came to A Fair Way Mediation Center and said that they had each spent $50,000 by taking the traditional route to divorce.  They never ended up getting a divorce because they couldn’t afford the fees any longer and their own attorney fired them for not paying.  Since then, they have been working with us and when all is said and done, they will spend thousands less.  They will also avoid showing up in court and the overall process for them has been much easier and calmer.

On January 17 we will host a free webinar about divorce and mediation.  It’s the perfect opportunity to ask questions off the clock and see whether mediation is best and what alternatives and opportunities are available.  One of the things we will discuss is why mediation saves money and why it is less stressful.   We meet people all the time who have tried traditional divorce and have just been burned in the end.  In order to further educate the public, our webinar will be very educational, allowing for questions and follow-up communication.

Please sign up today as there are only 100 openings for registrants.  Sign up easily and quickly here: http://bit.ly/v2l5Ds Here is more information:

A Fair Way Mediation Center will be holding a free webinar called “A Fair Way Mediation, The Basics of Divorce, Part 1.”

During the webinar, A Fair Way Mediation Center’s will provide free divorce advice, allow for questions by attendees and all participants will receive a copy of the webinar by email, which will include Mr. Gordon’s email address where additional questions may be posed. The webinar is scheduled for January 17, 2012 at 10:30 a.m. Pacific Standard Time.

Take a look at this video: How Mediation Saves Money

Please find us on YouTube,  Twitter and Facebook for mediation and personal wellness facts, tips and resources.

Jane S. San Diego, CA  9/27/2011

“Rich was wonderful to work with during a difficult time.  I am thankful that he was able to assist us with talking through things that we could not talk about on our own.  I feel that he really cares about people and is easy to work with.  The savings is nice with mediation but most important is being able to resolve issues and remain friends as we’ve been able to do.  We have Rich to thank for guiding us in the right direction”

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L S. 10/15/2011

“Rich Gordon provided excellent service for me and my ex.

He met with us and thoroughly explained the process, handled the paperwork efficiently and professionally, and contacted us as needed via phone and email. He helped us as we completed the documents and took care of all the court filings and other requirements as promised, and on time so the process was done by the end of the year.

His fees were fair. The work was done efficiently and as anticipated by both of us.

I highly recommend A Fair Way Mediation Center for couples who want to end their marriage with as little trouble and cost as possible, and need help to work out their property and other issues. Rich did a great job, as promised, on time and at a reasonable price”

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by:  Lee Rosen

Here’s a simple test to determine if your mediator knows how to mediate. It involves one question. Answer the question, score your test and if your mediator stinks then find a new mediator.

What time did the mediation end?

Note – this test only applies if the mediation started before lunch. If it started after lunch then you’ll have to do some math to compensate for the late start. Also, if you have a complicated case involving a multi-day mediation, the test applies only to the final day of the mediation.

Now, lets socre the test.

Score sheet:

_____ Mediation was over before 5 PM and the case was resoved – you have a great mediator.

_____ Mediation ended between 5 PM and 6 PM – you have a pretty good mediator.

_____ Mediation ended between 6 PM and 7 PM – you’re mediator is questionable.

_____ Mediation ended after 7 PM and the case was resolved – your mediator sucks.

_____ Mediation ended after 7 PM and the case was not resolved – your mediator really, really sucks.

Mediators that finish their cases, resolved or not, after 7 PM are relying on the parties getting hungry and tired – that’s their primary dispute resolution skill. That’s not good enough. Mediators should be trained in conflict resolution. They should be digging deep. They should know that the “issue is not the issue” and be adding value to the lives of the parties and helping them find a new way of dealing with one another.

If the mediator’s toolkit has just one tool (hungry and tired) then they need to go back to mediator class and listen this time. Some mediators will argue that they shouldn’t be judged by how quickly they resolve disputes. I’m not judging them by that standard. If they need more time they should simply continue the mediation on another day when the parties are rested and fed.

Of course, this analysis doesn’t apply every time, in every case, but, if your mediator is consistently wrapping up after dark then it’s time to find a new mediator.

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For more information, please visit A Fair Way Mediation at:  http://www.afairway.com.  There is a free online evaluation form to see if mediation is right for you.  Or please feel free to call us at:  619-702-9174

www.afairway.com

Rich:

I just wanted to take a few moments and thank you for the highly expert and efficient legal service that you provided for us during our divorce. We were very satisfied with not only your legal expertise but personally as well. I wish that the encounter had been under better circumstances. Unfortunately divorce can be part of the life experience. I expect that my “ex-wife” and I will remain good friends.

Again, thank you.

http://thewomensjournal.com/20090803/divorce-peacefully/

We all make blunders occasionally we make these blunders in our significant life partner selection. To deal with such blundered choices to freedom and getting freedom from the tensions of them at the earliest stage is an urgent job that uou must attend to by adopting necessary process. Separation or divorce is one such unpleasant blunder correction process where future needs of children your own financial and mental disasters are major influencing factors of this separation process. Divorce mediation is one safe and less taxing way to handle such tense though delicate situations

Uses of Divorce Mediation

Divorce could prove a very agonizing suffering for you if not handled with cool thought, patience and concern to other human beings getting affected with divorce process. The process could have happened at your starting even then the actions going to follow now are surly emotionally harsh to ride out through. The Divorce mediation managed and supervised by professional divorce mediator service provider will definitely impress upon both the stake holders of divorce procedure to reach a respectable arrangement, without much acrimony that is part and partial of this sordid saga.

Yu must keep in mind that Divorce mediation is not going to protect of salvage your strained marriage. Divorce mediation will make no effort to bring you two persons, who dislike each other now, return to your marriage vows again in togetherness. Divorce mediation limited in objectives conducted by an impartial unbiased third person to assist both of you to forget your acrimonious past and look towards arriving at just payment settlement. The divorce mediators will not adjudicate. Mediator will not decide on your behalf this not his job this is your job. Mediator will catalyze the process and keep proceeding cool and saving them from going out of logical control

The divorce mediation will also be lesser costly than costly and time consuming court process. If you use a divorce lawyer in place of a going for divorce mediation you are going to pay heavy fees of court and attorney. Divorce mediation and trying to reach a settlement is always to your advantage.

In cases where you do not share and accept scenarios they will be modified, represented, and discussed again and again until an acceptable settlement is arrived at that is fitting to the expectations and limits of both persons.

The objective of divorce mediation is to facilitate couples to reach a reasonable settlement with regard to their financials and other assets, in free from acrimony and calm way, if they have children the making co-parenting arrangement for the children.
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For more information, please visit A Fair Way Mediation at:  http://www.afairway.com.  There is a free online evaluation form to see if mediation is right for you.  Or please feel free to call us at:  619-702-9174

www.afairway.com