Does Your Mediator Stink?
by: Lee Rosen
Here’s a simple test to determine if your mediator knows how to mediate. It involves one question. Answer the question, score your test and if your mediator stinks then find a new mediator.
What time did the mediation end?
Note – this test only applies if the mediation started before lunch. If it started after lunch then you’ll have to do some math to compensate for the late start. Also, if you have a complicated case involving a multi-day mediation, the test applies only to the final day of the mediation.
Now, lets socre the test.
Score sheet:
_____ Mediation was over before 5 PM and the case was resoved – you have a great mediator.
_____ Mediation ended between 5 PM and 6 PM – you have a pretty good mediator.
_____ Mediation ended between 6 PM and 7 PM – you’re mediator is questionable.
_____ Mediation ended after 7 PM and the case was resolved – your mediator sucks.
_____ Mediation ended after 7 PM and the case was not resolved – your mediator really, really sucks.
Mediators that finish their cases, resolved or not, after 7 PM are relying on the parties getting hungry and tired – that’s their primary dispute resolution skill. That’s not good enough. Mediators should be trained in conflict resolution. They should be digging deep. They should know that the “issue is not the issue” and be adding value to the lives of the parties and helping them find a new way of dealing with one another.
If the mediator’s toolkit has just one tool (hungry and tired) then they need to go back to mediator class and listen this time. Some mediators will argue that they shouldn’t be judged by how quickly they resolve disputes. I’m not judging them by that standard. If they need more time they should simply continue the mediation on another day when the parties are rested and fed.
Of course, this analysis doesn’t apply every time, in every case, but, if your mediator is consistently wrapping up after dark then it’s time to find a new mediator.
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For more information, please visit A Fair Way Mediation at: http://www.afairway.com. There is a free online evaluation form to see if mediation is right for you. Or please feel free to call us at: 619-702-9174
Tags: mediation, mediator, san diego divorce, san diego mediation