Ask The Mediator Today

Celine C. Callahan, CA 9/24/2011

“Rich Gordon was extremely helpful as he really facilitated my ex-husband and I sort through our separation, preventing some of the stress associated with this very bad situation. It also prevented us to spend a lot more money that we would have if we had taken two separates lawyers. Rick was fair and never showed any preferences, making us agree on reasonable decisions that were pertaining to our situation.  The divorce papers were filed quickly. During this difficult period, Rich were sensitive and passionate as well, which helped me going through his difficult period”

“Like” us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/AFairWay
Follow us on Twitter: www.twitter.com/afairwaymediate

* Join us for a FREE webinar on January 17 at 10:30a.m. PST. This webinar is open to only 100 people so registration is encouraged as soon as possible. To register, please click on this link: http://bit.ly/v2l5Ds then click “Register”. On the registration form, enter your information and then click “Submit”. Once the host approves your registration, you will receive a confirmation email message with instructions on how to join the event.

Free Advice with Divorce and Mediation

There are still so many people that do not know about mediation and why it is so much better than traditional divorce.  I receive many questions when people first reach out to me about divorce and mediation.  It’s a tough time and there are so many things to consider, so much to learn about why mediation is better and many times people are either nervous, upset or depressed (or all of the above).

Primarily my role as a mediator is to listen to concerns, understand the situation, talk about differences between traditional divorce methods and the mediation process and set up a meeting for the couple to come in to see me in my office.  I provide a neutral safe setting and do not take the side of either party. My job is to listen to what the people are actually saying. When people come to mediation they have their own agenda. They hear what they hear, they do not hear the other parties’ contribution at all. My job is to be the interpreter, the person that hears what each side is saying, and relates it in a way that the second party will understand. Then they can make decisions about how best to come to a resolution.

If you’re reading this because you want to work things out with your partner or you are set on separating and want to make it as easy of a process as possible, I am here to listen and answer your questions and evaluate your circumstances for free.  I’ve been helping couples for close to 20 years now and have helped people work through so many difficult situations.  Please call me directly or click here to fill out our free evaluation and I will call you.

Best to you,

Richard Gordon, B.A., M.A. & J.D.

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~ Unknown

In 2011, a couple came to A Fair Way Mediation Center and said that they had each spent $50,000 by taking the traditional route to divorce.  They never ended up getting a divorce because they couldn’t afford the fees any longer and their own attorney fired them for not paying.  Since then, they have been working with us and when all is said and done, they will spend thousands less.  They will also avoid showing up in court and the overall process for them has been much easier and calmer.

On January 17 we will host a free webinar about divorce and mediation.  It’s the perfect opportunity to ask questions off the clock and see whether mediation is best and what alternatives and opportunities are available.  One of the things we will discuss is why mediation saves money and why it is less stressful.   We meet people all the time who have tried traditional divorce and have just been burned in the end.  In order to further educate the public, our webinar will be very educational, allowing for questions and follow-up communication.

Please sign up today as there are only 100 openings for registrants.  Sign up easily and quickly here: http://bit.ly/v2l5Ds Here is more information:

A Fair Way Mediation Center will be holding a free webinar called “A Fair Way Mediation, The Basics of Divorce, Part 1.”

During the webinar, A Fair Way Mediation Center’s will provide free divorce advice, allow for questions by attendees and all participants will receive a copy of the webinar by email, which will include Mr. Gordon’s email address where additional questions may be posed. The webinar is scheduled for January 17, 2012 at 10:30 a.m. Pacific Standard Time.

Take a look at this video: How Mediation Saves Money

Please find us on YouTube,  Twitter and Facebook for mediation and personal wellness facts, tips and resources.

A Fair Way Mediation Center, San Diego, California

A Fair Way Mediation Offers Free Webinars: “The Basics of Divorce”

A Fair Way Mediation Center of San Diego, CA will host free webinars and provide free online divorce advice, covering common issues with divorce and mediation as an alternative.

To register, please click on this link: http://bit.ly/v2l5Ds

San Diego, CA (December 18, 2011) – A Fair Way Mediation Center of San Diego, providing mediation services for more than 15 years, is conducting a series of free webinars on divorce to educate men and women and answer questions as they pertain to finances, insurance, children, and marital residence. Also covered is how mediation saves money and eases emotional strain for everyone involved. For those contemplating divorce, Rich Gordon’s webinars can show how mediation may provide help to make the decision and the process easier and less stressful.

Richard Gordon, B.A., M.A. & J.D., principal mediator at A Fair Way Mediation Center, will host the webinars and cover topics such as: child custody, marital residences, debts, personal property, support, life insurance, medical insurance, college tuition, taxes and more.

On January 17, 2012 the first webinar, “A Fair Way Mediation, The Basics of Divorce” will cover children, marital residence (owned), and marital residence (rented). When a couple looks to separate, some of the most common questions with regards to children are about understanding who the custodial parent will be and what the rights are of the non-custodial parent, as well as how major decisions will be made; decisions which usually affect the children’s health, education or welfare. With a marital residence, couples often want to know what disposition will be made of the home; will it be sold immediately, will one of the parties deed his or her interest to the other, or will one have rights to live in the home, and if so, for how long. Separating gets harder when parties have to agree on the sale of the house, who is responsible for any maintenance or major repairs, as well as who receives the capital gains associated with the sale. With the free webinar series from A Fair Way, Rich Gordon will delve deeper into these issues.

All attendees registered for “The Basics of Divorce Part 1” will receive advice and have the opportunity to ask questions during the webinar. For those who want to keep questions confidential, all attendees will receive a copy of the webinar by email, which will include Mr. Gordon’s email address where specific questions may be posed. Attendees will not be able to see the list of other participants so registrants stay anonymous.

Separating can be extremely troubling and fraught with emotion, as there are so many things to consider, discuss, and reach agreement on during the process. Traditional divorce using attorneys and judges not only costs thousands more, it’s emotionally straining on the couple and the children, often requiring court appearances, especially when matters cannot be settled calmly. Mediation offers help and counsel in a peaceful setting, for a more simple divorce.

A Fair Way Mediation Center’s “A Fair Way Mediation, The Basics of Divorce, Part 1” will provide free divorce advice on January 17, 2012 at 10:30 a.m. Pacific Standard Time This webinar is open to only 100 people so register today! To register, please click on this link: http://bit.ly/v2l5Ds then click “Register”. On the registration form, enter your information and then click “Submit”. Once the host approves your registration, you will receive a confirmation email message with instructions on how to join the event. Please also find us on Twitter and Facebook for mediation and personal wellness facts, tips and resources.

About:

A Fair Way Mediation Center of San Diego has been helping San Diego couples through divorce for more than 15 years, enabling them to avoid large legal fees and complex courtroom procedures via mediation. The principal mediator at A Fair Way Mediation Center of San Diego is Richard Gordon, B.A., M.A. & J.D.. Mr. Gordon is a highly trained mediator. In addition to mediating divorces, he has served as a mediator, arbitrator, consensus builder, trainer and consultant to individuals, corporations, foundations and public organizations. He has helped numerous people and organizations throughout San Diego to settle their differences through mediation. For more information and to complete a free evaluation, please got to www.AFairWay.com

Media Contact:

Colleen Rugg

My SMN

colleen@mysmn.com

c: (619) 997-4930

Jane S. San Diego, CA  9/27/2011

“Rich was wonderful to work with during a difficult time.  I am thankful that he was able to assist us with talking through things that we could not talk about on our own.  I feel that he really cares about people and is easy to work with.  The savings is nice with mediation but most important is being able to resolve issues and remain friends as we’ve been able to do.  We have Rich to thank for guiding us in the right direction”

“Like” us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/AFairWay
Follow us on Twitter: www.twitter.com/afairwaymediate

When choosing a Mediator, think of the bond you seek with a doctor or a therapist.  There needs to be trust, expertise on behalf of the professional, and above all, you need to like that person, especially if they are going to get to know you in such a personal way.

Qualifications and expertise need to be accounted for first and then there needs to be an evaluation of interpersonal skills.  You need to determine if this is a person you can bond with. Everyone has their own way in which they expect people to act, how they expect to be treated, what they expect of another person’s morals and values and of course how they expect to do business.

When choosing your Mediator, do your homework and call a couple people.  Talk to them in person or over the phone.  Look for someone that possesses the following: emotional stability and maturity, integrity, neutrality, and sensitivity.

A great Mediator possesses the ability to listen, to clarify issues, to educate his or her clients, to be sensitive, and most of all, to be fair.

Have a question for Rich Gordon?  Please “Like” us on Facebook and “Follow” us on Twitter to ask questions, receive free Mediation tips, news and helpful articles.

L S. 10/15/2011

“Rich Gordon provided excellent service for me and my ex.

He met with us and thoroughly explained the process, handled the paperwork efficiently and professionally, and contacted us as needed via phone and email. He helped us as we completed the documents and took care of all the court filings and other requirements as promised, and on time so the process was done by the end of the year.

His fees were fair. The work was done efficiently and as anticipated by both of us.

I highly recommend A Fair Way Mediation Center for couples who want to end their marriage with as little trouble and cost as possible, and need help to work out their property and other issues. Rich did a great job, as promised, on time and at a reasonable price”

“Like” us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/AFairWay
Follow us on Twitter: www.twitter.com/afairwaymediate

by:  Lee Rosen

Here’s a simple test to determine if your mediator knows how to mediate. It involves one question. Answer the question, score your test and if your mediator stinks then find a new mediator.

What time did the mediation end?

Note – this test only applies if the mediation started before lunch. If it started after lunch then you’ll have to do some math to compensate for the late start. Also, if you have a complicated case involving a multi-day mediation, the test applies only to the final day of the mediation.

Now, lets socre the test.

Score sheet:

_____ Mediation was over before 5 PM and the case was resoved – you have a great mediator.

_____ Mediation ended between 5 PM and 6 PM – you have a pretty good mediator.

_____ Mediation ended between 6 PM and 7 PM – you’re mediator is questionable.

_____ Mediation ended after 7 PM and the case was resolved – your mediator sucks.

_____ Mediation ended after 7 PM and the case was not resolved – your mediator really, really sucks.

Mediators that finish their cases, resolved or not, after 7 PM are relying on the parties getting hungry and tired – that’s their primary dispute resolution skill. That’s not good enough. Mediators should be trained in conflict resolution. They should be digging deep. They should know that the “issue is not the issue” and be adding value to the lives of the parties and helping them find a new way of dealing with one another.

If the mediator’s toolkit has just one tool (hungry and tired) then they need to go back to mediator class and listen this time. Some mediators will argue that they shouldn’t be judged by how quickly they resolve disputes. I’m not judging them by that standard. If they need more time they should simply continue the mediation on another day when the parties are rested and fed.

Of course, this analysis doesn’t apply every time, in every case, but, if your mediator is consistently wrapping up after dark then it’s time to find a new mediator.

###
For more information, please visit A Fair Way Mediation at:  http://www.afairway.com.  There is a free online evaluation form to see if mediation is right for you.  Or please feel free to call us at:  619-702-9174

www.afairway.com

Rich:

I just wanted to take a few moments and thank you for the highly expert and efficient legal service that you provided for us during our divorce. We were very satisfied with not only your legal expertise but personally as well. I wish that the encounter had been under better circumstances. Unfortunately divorce can be part of the life experience. I expect that my “ex-wife” and I will remain good friends.

Again, thank you.